Stair Steps

By The Ozark Curmudgeon

Watch out for stair steps. I don’t mean the kind you navigate every day. I mean life’s stair steps. Specifically, I’m talking about health care stair steps.

Now, understand, I am not a doctor. I didn’t even play one on TV. I did, however, play doctor several times in my youth, but that’s another story for another day.

A Lifetime of Learning

For many years, I had the opportunity, burden, blessing, or whatever it was to be my wife’s primary caregiver. We dated throughout high school and married two weeks after she graduated. We thought we were old, mature, and ready for life. Boy, were we in for some surprises.

Six years and three children later, she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. The first thing I learned was how to spell sclerosis. I could handle multiple. That was the beginning of an almost continual education. Every day brought a new lesson and, often, a new adventure.

We were married for 39 years before she simply wore out. She used a wheelchair for roughly the last 15 or 20 of those years, but the chair did not define her. She served twice as president of the women’s organization at our church, led the PTA at our children’s school, and even appeared in a production of Saturday’s Warrior.

She was also a quote machine. Two of my favorites were:

“I’m not sick! MS is just an inconvenience.”

“Anywhere is within walking distance if you have enough time.”

She lived her life to the fullest.

The Doctor’s Warning

Here is where the stair steps come in.

One of her many doctors warned me about them. I wish I could remember which doctor it was, but his name has been lost to history. He explained that, for a medically compromised person, every major health event can be a stair step down. There are no automatic steps back up.

Another procedure could mean a step down. Anesthesia could mean another, and sometimes more than one. His advice was simple: Carefully weigh the likely benefit of every recommended treatment against the physical toll it may take.

That lesson stayed with me. Most doctors naturally concentrate on the condition in front of them. That focus is part of what makes them good at their jobs. But patients and caregivers have to look at the whole person. The right hand does not always know what the left hand is doing, especially when several specialists are involved. We have to ask questions, compare recommendations, and take an active role in our own care.

My Own Stair Steps

What does any of this have to do with a 78-year-old curmudgeon? I may not be compromised by a disease like multiple sclerosis, but I am dealing with another undefeated opponent: old age.

I’ve always prided myself on being young for my calendar years. I’ve often been told that I don’t look or act 78, and I take that as a compliment. Lately, however, I’ve considered changing my name to Job. Some of you will recognize the name and understand why.

Here are a few of my stair steps since 2020:

• UroLift procedure (it failed)
• Cardioversion, multiple times
• Cardiac mapping and ablation, better known around here as “map and zap”
• TURP surgery
• Bladder surgery
• Watchman heart implant
• Right hip replacement
• Left hip replacement
• Severe anemia, leading to a diagnosis of celiac disease that prevents me from absorbing iron properly
• Torn rotator cuff repair after massive damage left all three shoulder muscles shredded
• Shingles, despite having received the vaccine. Just for fun, I appear to be among the lucky group that gets the long-playing version

Finding a Few Steps Back Up

Now for the steps back up. First, I am alive and kicking. That is, in and of itself, a blessing. Second, while we cannot stop every effect of aging, there are things we can do to push back against it.

Here are a few of mine:

• Stay busy. It’s easy to start rusting at this age.
• Walk every day. It doesn’t have to be far, but the body needs a reminder that it still has a job.
• Keep the mind busy. Even on days when physical problems are driving me crazy, I can still think, read, plan, write, and build things. Our minds need exercise if we expect them to stay young.
• Get involved. It doesn’t matter much what you choose. Anything that gets you out of the recliner or rocking chair for a while is a plus.
• Ask questions about medical recommendations. Consider both the expected benefit and the stair steps the treatment may require. Is the tradeoff worth it for you?
• Eat better. That one is mostly advice for other people. I’ve nearly given up on it. When corn dogs and Diet Dr Pepper are your favorite lunch, there may be no hope.

The steps down may come whether we invite them or not. The best we can do is pay attention, make our choices with our eyes open, and keep climbing wherever we can. Some days that climb is a long walk. Other days it is simply getting out of bed, doing something useful, and refusing to surrender the day.

The Ozark Curmudgeon Sez

Why spend $25,000 on painful dental procedures when your life expectancy is only five years? After all, this is Arkansas!